I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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