I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
