wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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