So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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