she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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