No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Let's paint friendship bongs
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
