so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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