If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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