Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
