Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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