he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
