Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
