You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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