i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
