he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Randomize
