Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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