I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
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