i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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