Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
