Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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