i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
