Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
