she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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