ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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