fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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