I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
