There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
