Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
