Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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