The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
