Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Can I color on your dick again?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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