ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
