he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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