So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We're too hungover to prance.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
