You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
