Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
