My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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