is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
