You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
