My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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