She said her name was "party"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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