Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
