Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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