also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
