he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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