I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
