he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
