So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
