I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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