i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
